Realisation
by WeasleySeeker
Summary: "It had been coming on for a while, but now the realisation came over her; now she was sure of it. Ted Tonks was a Mudblood, and he was no different from her." —Ted/Andromeda throughout their Hogwarts years; for Louise.


**A/N: For Secret Santa on the RoseScorpius Fans Forum. This is for the wonderful Louise (downstage) - I wanted to have another go at writing your lovely OTP so I hope I did them justice! Merry Christmas :3**

* * *

**i.**

* * *

She was eleven, and she didn't understand how the best person in her Potions class was a Mudblood. A _Hufflepuff_ Mudblood.

"That's excellent, Mr Tonks!" Professor Slughorn boomed as he passed him, taken in by his charm despite the fact that he wasn't even in his house. "Just the right consistency. Are you _sure_ there's no magical blood in your family? Look at this, everyone!"

"I'm sure," Tonks said, looking pleased but slightly embarrassed as the class peered, some slightly resentfully, into his cauldron to admire his work. Andromeda didn't understand what there was to be embarrassed about. She would _love_ to have her work shown off to the other first-years. But somehow, despite growing up in one of the most distinguished magical families there were, it never seemed to be good enough.

She looked up expectantly as Slughorn bent over her cauldron; maybe she'd finally got it right this time. Her potion seemed about the same thickness as Tonks's...

"You need a few more porcupine quills, Miss Black. Are you sure you weighed them out correctly?" he asked, disappointment clear in his voice. He'd been terribly excited at the start of the year when he heard that Andromeda was Bellatrix's younger sister, but it seemed she wasn't living up to his expectations.

"I'm sorry, Professor," she said quietly. "I'll try harder next time." Or would it be better just to accept that she'd never be as good as Bellatrix?

* * *

**ii.**

* * *

She was thirteen, and she didn't understand how he could be so _nice_ to her.

The Charms corridor was crowded as usual, full of students hurrying to get to their next lesson before the bell. Every so often, due to the number of people trying to force their way through, there would be a collision.

"Hey!" Andromeda protested as someone was shoved into her, making her drop the pile of textbooks that was in her arms.

It was Ted Tonks. "I'm so sorry," he said hurriedly. "That was an accident. Here, let me pick those up for you," he offered, gathering the books up from the floor and holding them out to her.

Andromeda could do nothing except stare at him. Why did he do that? If it had been the other way around, she wouldn't have apologised. She _certainly_ wouldn't have picked up his books for him.

She realised that everyone in the corridor was watching her. "Watch where you're going, Mudblood," she muttered, taking the books from him hastily. "And don't touch my stuff."

She ignored the hurt look on his face.

* * *

**iii.**

* * *

She was fourteen, and she didn't understand why she had to get engaged to a man she didn't love.

"You're marrying Rabastan," her mother said without premise. "We'll announce the engagement on Saturday."

"I'm sorry... _what_?" Andromeda asked stupidly. It had come out of nowhere. She didn't think she'd ever said more than about three words to Rabastan Lestrange. And now he'd asked to marry her?

Her mother sighed. "You heard me. Rodolphus wants to marry Bellatrix, and since the Lestranges are such a distinguished family, we decided you and Rabastan would make a good match too. We told the parents we wouldn't let him have Bellatrix unless you could have Rabastan."

"And I get no say in this?" Andromeda demanded. She knew that Pureblood families favoured arranged marriages to continue the line, but she was _fourteen_. Maybe she'd been expecting too much, but she'd thought that they would give her at least a few more years to attempt to find someone by herself.

Druella narrowed her eyes. "Is there a problem? You should be thrilled that they've taken an interest in you, Andromeda."

Andromeda noted the word 'they'. Clearly Rabastan's parents had taken an interest in her, not him. There was nothing to be thrilled about. But she knew that there was nothing she could do. "Whatever."

"Blacks don't marry for love," her mother said, more softly. "You've got to accept that. And Rabastan's the best you could hope for."

Maybe that was true - Rabastan was her age, and not exactly bad looking either. She'd heard about some girls her age being betrothed to ugly old men. But it was still hard to let go of her childhood dreams of falling in love and marrying her soulmate.

* * *

**iv.**

* * *

She was sixteen, and she didn't want anyone's pity.

"Are you alright?" the tentative voice came, and somehow it startled her. She yawned and lifted her head from the book where it had been resting. She couldn't believe she'd fallen asleep in the library.

The voice had come from Ted Tonks. "What do you care, Mudblood?" she asked tiredly, but she was genuinely curious.

"You know, that name doesn't bother me," he told her calmly, ignoring the question.

Andromeda looked up, confused. "What?"

"When you call me a Mudblood. I'd never even heard the word before I got to Hogwarts; it doesn't offend me," he clarified.

She hadn't had a proper conversation with Tonks before, and she had to admit that it was quite interesting. Now that she thought about it, she didn't intend to cause offence when she said the name. She didn't really care enough to want to offend him. It was just habit. "Answer the question," she instructed. "Why do you care?"

He shrugged. "I have no idea, to be honest. You just look like you need someone to talk to, Mudblood or not."

Andromeda looked around quickly - it was lunchtime, so most people were in the Great Hall, leaving the library almost deserted. They shouldn't have any eavesdroppers. And she did desperately need to talk to someone. Her friends would be alarmed by the sort of things she was going to say. "Okay," she said hesitantly. "But you can't repeat a word of this."

"Why would I?" he asked, and Andromeda couldn't think of a reason, so she told him.

"I... I'm just exhausted. Exhausted from waiting for Rabastan to get in from whatever he stays out until two in the morning doing," she said wearily. "I'm sick of him lying to me. Detentions do _not_ last that long," she added. They both knew the things she'd left unsaid - either he was seeing someone else, or he'd joined the Death Eaters. "And he treats me like an object. Like I don't have feelings. I'm sick of it."

Tonks looked at her strangely. "Why don't you just break up with him?"

She snorted, realising that she'd just poured her heart out to a Mudblood. "You wouldn't understand. It's not that simple. We're betrothed. There's a _contract_. I have to marry him."

"That's hard," Tonks said awkwardly; it was true - he couldn't possibly understand.

"Whatever," Andromeda said hastily, gathering up her notes and standing up. "There's nothing I can do about it. I don't need your pity, Mudblood."

But in reality, she couldn't deny that it had felt good to tell someone.

* * *

**v.**

* * *

She was sixteen, and she needed someone. Even if it was a Mudblood.

Unloading her problems onto Ted just got easier and easier after the first time. He'd make the occasional comment, but more importantly, he'd listen and he'd try to understand. Nobody else cared enough to do that.

"I don't know what I'd feel if I found out Rabastan was seeing someone," Andromeda told him truthfully. She and Rabastan spent time together, they kissed, they made out - they'd even gone all the way a couple of times - but it was only because they felt that they had to. She didn't love Rabastan, and he didn't love her; there was no pretence about it. "But I know that I'd prefer it to the alternative," she added quietly.

Ted looked at her strangely. "What, because it's dangerous?" he asked carefully.

She shook her head. "Because I don't believe that stuff anymore," she whispered, not quite believing that she was admitting it. It had been coming on for a while, but now the realisation came over her; now she was sure of it. Ted Tonks was a Mudblood, and he was no different from her.

And she didn't know how it happened, but somehow they were kissing, and it couldn't have been more different from kissing Rabastan; she was kissing Ted because she wanted to, not because she had to. It was sweet and gentle, but there was something thrilling about it too - there was something thrilling about the knowledge that _she should not be doing this_.

Ted looked like he was in shock. "This is so wrong," he said uneasily, when it was over.

"It doesn't feel wrong," Andromeda said, and they both grinned. She felt euphoric, like a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

Until he turned to leave, and she remembered everything.

"Ted," she called, a twinge of regret passing over her. He turned back; the grin disappeared from his face. "Nobody can know about this, okay? My family... Bella... you don't know what they're capable of."

He nodded. "I understand," he said, failing to disguise the bitterness from his voice, and then he was gone.

* * *

**vi.**

* * *

She was seventeen, and she couldn't take it anymore.

_Ted—_

_I know we said we'd wait until next year when we've finished school, but I can't live in this house for another day. Mother and Cissy are obsessing over wedding plans, meaning Father is even more irritable than usual, and I'm almost certain that Bellatrix knows about us. I've heard one too many sarcastic remark from her this summer, and I don't know why I'm so scared of her, but I am. She'll tell my parents and get me kicked out of the house, but not before she's had enough of playing her little games. I caught a glimpse up her sleeve and there's something there - it's almost certainly a Dark Mark. We need to be careful._

_What I'm trying to say is - run away with me, Ted Tonks. I'm tired of pretending to be someone I'm not. I'm tired of you being my dirty little secret. I love you, and I want us to be together, loud and proud._

_A.B. xx_

The owl returned, with only three words scribbled onto the back of her letter.

_Marry me first._


End file.
